If you've been to our show and sat through a long introduction about our song, "Viroqua, WI," you have inevitably been told that the Viroqua, WI Walmart is in our top 5 most romantic Walmarts in the United States. You may then have heard Scott say that for the complete listing, you can head to our website. Except, you won't find it there. Until now.
We are a folk band of our word, and after hashing this joke out for two years, we thought we should deliver. So here, in no order in particular, are the Top 5 Most Romantic Walmarts in the United States:
1. Alamagordo, New Mexico. Here, if you park it behind the box store, you can pull your RV up to a large plot of grass you can pretend is your backyard for a night or two or five. Often, the stars are bright in spite of the parking lot lights. And, it is walking distance to the yoga studio.
2. Salt Lake City, Utah. Here, you can catch a beautiful view of Salt Lake City down the hill. Though you will also need to watch your step for that box of hypodermic needles. The risk is part of the romance, we guess. This one also requires you to be so blissfully in love, that you can claim blissful ignorance of the signs that are clearly marked "NO OVERNIGHT RV PARKING."
3. Viroqua, Wisconsin. As you know, you can set your lawn chairs out, eat your Klondike bars, and watch the sunset behind the Tractor Supply Store across the street. A real favorite with the locals-- particularly those in white Cadillacs.
4. Tallahassee, Florida. Play your cards right and you can land a spot along the tall back wall we like to call our "privacy fence." It not only aids in blocking shoppers from a view of you doing yoga in the parking lot in the morning, but also makes if far less awkward if you forget to close one half of your blinds so some air can get in on the hot Florida nights.
5. Omaha, NE. Also with a privacy wall, this particular Walmart comes with complete service-- including an 8AM wake-up call from the local police.
There you have it. Have fun out there. Most Walmarts come with Redbox inside, so remember to charge your computer so you can catch a flick before bed (and before the battery dies). For the more adventurous, you can park in the first five spaces and usually catch enough WiFi signal to get at least an hour of Netflix in. And, remember, we are not only not getting sponsored but Walmart, but also are likely frowned upon and morally judged by the staff and shoppers alike at these establishments.